Just switch off... Routine and Tips for a relaxed evening after work

Microcosmos partnership and the burden of responsibility. Starting the end of work in a relaxed manner and leaving everyday work behind you - simply switching off is often not so easy.

With these tips you can clear your head and ensure a more relaxed atmosphere.

The World Economic Forum (WEF) calculated for the 2022 Global Gender Report that it will take approximately 131 years to close the gender gap.

Finally end of work, home, dinner. We are always available. Our private and professional lives are intertwined. As a self-employed person, you are a 24/7 all-rounder. Always be available, never be able to switch off, and put the well-being of others before your own. Do you know that?

If we are not careful, at some point we will unconsciously end up in a mental load trap.

Our body quickly signals to us when something is wrong. Sleep disorders, our thoughts are running at full speed, our body feels stress and in the long run this is very unhealthy. Consequences: Burnout or exhaustion and depression, due to high expectations of ourselves and others. We are less and less able to put up a STOP SIGN and draw boundaries.

Mothers and women are all-rounders - we always think about everything for everyone in the family and then unconsciously end up in a so-called mental load trap - feeling unwell, exhausted - no time for the really important things in life and the people around us. Somehow I often think of Kali, the Indian goddess with many arms and I say to my friend:

Shopping, trash and homework - doctor's appointments, parents' evening - clothes, laundry and gifts - taxes, insurance, vacation planning

and you get into the car with me when we go on vacation and laugh: "why are we carrying 10 suitcases with us - we need a bus" and then you're happy when we eat sausages or homemade cookies during the trip and we eat them during the vacation have everything with you that a MAN needs.

I say to Him: "my job is housewife, insurance clerk, bank clerk, buyer, housekeeper, lover and entertainer and all of this is unpaid". He is amazed and his eyes are wide open.

A generational problem. What were we taught and how did we grow up?

• How do you manage values, career and self-realization as well as family?

This makes the end of the workday all the more important as a hard limit for our health.

In order to switch off, routines are important and a fair distribution of responsibility between both partners for a fair balance and relief.

A map can help. (Test via equalcareday.de)

What helps is talking.

Finding priorities and making compromises is always possible. It's worth talking to your partner about expectations, worries and wishes. For example, you can take 10 minutes for yourself after work: put your feet up, breathe deeply, listen to music.

Then talk to your partner about the work and what you have experienced in a fixed time slot and a cell phone-free zone, where both of you can express what is bothering you and what you have experienced. Approx. 10 minutes for him, 10 minutes for you.

It helps to know "I'm not alone in all this"

However, it is important that both can and want to get involved.

Questions, Routines and a Weekplanning:

• "Wer macht was? (in kleinen Häppchen abarbeiten)

• Wer kümmert sich darum, dass es gemacht wird?" (Woche strukturieren)

• "Muss der Haushalt heute kommplett erledigt werden? Kann das auch bis morgen warten?

• Wie oft fällt die Aufgabe an? Täglich - Wöchentlich - jährlich?

• Was ist uns wichtig? Was ist uns weniger wichtig?

• "Worauf freue ich mich/Du besonders?"

It also makes sense to swap areas of responsibility every now and then in order to avoid isolated knowledge and share responsibility and relieve both partners. This will show your children that dad can just as easily throw a birthday party and mom can adjust the bike saddle or fix the tube.

Who shares care work:

• has time for yourself
  

• has full say/voice
  

• has a good relationship to children
  

• does not have to live in fixed role patterns
  

• has a happy partner - and is ultimately happier himself

Children learn self-care and can be led into a future in a relaxed and worry-free manner.

It's about making everyone feel comfortable - less perfection and time efficiency. So that we can simply answer unpleasant questions in a casual way: "Yes, I brought a frozen cake with me today so that I finally had time for nothing."

just relax

create routines.

All topics relating to work are taboo after a certain time.

exhausted

Totally exhausted in the evening?

it´s okay - It's perfectly okay to postpone household chores for another day.

breath fresh air

Fresh air - catch a breath - freely

A short walk in the fresh air (just before going to bed) clears your head, grounds you and provides a change of perspective. Focusing on the little things in life triggers feelings of happiness.